Let it Burn...or not

Ever look at a campfire after the flame has died down?  You’re sitting there late at night and there’s a little glow emanating off the coals of the fire.  You think the fire’s out… until you chunk a little piece of paper next to one of the embers… then the flame appears again. 

Conflict can be like that also, it can burn like a fire.  If we are smart, we go to the person who hurt us and we work it out…usually, forgiveness comes into play, and it’s extinguished….if we are lucky.  Sometimes, we let it smolder, like an ember, and it waits to flame again later.

When Jesus was asked by one of His disciples about how many times to forgive someone, the disciple suggested 7 times.  Jesus countered with 70 times 7.  We tend to think that someone might have to commit an offense against us 490 times and then we forgive them 490 times…but I think we miss something. 

Forgiveness is more of a process than a one-time event… we don’t just forget what happened.  I think Jesus was saying that you might have to use 490 “forgives” on one occurrence of the wrong.  Anything can remind me of pain…a TV program, a song, a conversation, etc…  To forgive means, every time something reminds me of the hurt, I have to make the choice to forgive the person, every time…maybe 1000 times, just for that one thing.

If forgiveness doesn’t stick, pain can come back at any time, like that glowing ember.  Most times, if the flame isn’t there, i.e. the conflict’s died down, we think everything’s okay because the fire is gone, but not hardly.  Let some little piece of “paper”, a word or a look, get too near the glowing ember and you find out the flame burns strong…just like that. We think the “paper” is the problem, but it’s really not.  If the “paper” just lies there, it never burns on its own.  It needs the ignored ember to light it again.  The hotter the fire/hurt, usually the longer the process of forgiveness… but it’s got to be done because usually the person that takes the most damage is the one nearest the fire, and that’s not the person who messed me over…that’s me or those close to me.