Facebook and affairs? What's the real problem here?

For some time, Facebook has become more popular as a communication and social media tool.  With the rise of that popularity and usage, the concerns of Facebook increased.  Addictive games, addictive info supply, and massive time wasted leading to lack of productivity are among the list. 
While these seem more controllable and harmless, more dangerous games are "played" like marital affairs.  John connects with Jennifer from high school and driven by strong early emotions and a lot of rose-colored glasses about the past, John and Jennifer begin a relationship online that leads them to connect emotionally again...one problem, John and Jennifer are married and not to each other...and they end up leaving their previous soulmates to be together in some sort of "we found our real soulmate...no, REALLY...not like the other soulmates, but the real only one for me" moment. 

There's a growing trend to outlaw Facebook in business and religious circles, and, from ministers to counselors, to "demonize" it.  So is Facebook a marriage killer?  I don't think so.  The pattern of online affairs usually seems to follow the same pattern as any affair...connection, emotional attachment, improper contact, secretive continuance, adultery and ultimately, announcing that you've found "the one" to "the one" you've already found.  Facebook isn't the problem, it's an opportunity for connection and at ANY opportunity for connection people can stumble.  Without discipline and transparency and honesty, anyone can sin.  I think the Bible shows us how sin happens in James 1...

14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed.

15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.  16 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters.

This passage is talking about the subject of whether or not God tempts us to sin and while the answer is "no", this passage gives us the pattern by which sin...ALL sin...happens.  There is a desire that tempts us, we linger with that desire and hang around with it...then it takes hold of us and we act on it (gives birth to sin) and then that sin leads to death.  Sounds a lot like the process of an affair...online or otherwise.

I've thought rather than demonize Facebook, maybe we should look at the real problem which is ourselves and put our guards there.  There's no denying that Facebook gives more occasion for connection, that's why it's popular, but just like any other area of connection, it shouldn't give us some "free pass" to throw off all safeguards and just act however...that's where the real problem comes.

In real life, I don't ride in a car by myself with a member of the opposite sex that isn't family, if I can help it...I don't tell things to members of the opposite sex that I haven't told my wife.  I don't have personal conversations with members of the opposite sex, but if a conversation turns that way, I talk about it with Katye.  She is privy to all parts of my life...and loads of that are things that I tell NO ONE but her and vice versa with her.

I don't violate those things on Facebook either... and then there's other guards as well, if I don't know you, I'm probably not going to accept your friend request.  I stay off private chat, if I can help it...if I do get on and talk with someone, I'll let Katye know what we said.  That's transparency...that's a big part of safety.  If I'd feel weird telling Katye about an interaction, then it's a safe bet, I don't need to take that connection opportunity...that's a good safeguard for me.

The truth is that affairs start at ANY connection point...too many affairs start at work, so should we stop working?  or make work segregated sexaully?  No.  Work isn't the problem...and neither is Facebook.  The problem is the lack of discipline of the people who use it...and to an experience, that's exactly how sin works...regardless of the medium.

Last day recap - leaving for the airport in 5 hours

Well, the last day was whirlwind to say the least.  We began by heading out to the church to meet with Pastor Ricardo of Iglesia Bautista El Dorado.  We talked through a lot of the things that we had learned so far and bounced ideas off of him and his team.  It was very encouraging and very promising.

First, this is a MOMUMENTAL job...300k of Panamanian Chinese, very few believers.  The language that most speak, Hakka (pronounced "Ha-KA'"), no one does ministry in because of the stigma attached to the language.  The preferred language is Mandarin, the more respected language...why would anyone speak Hakka, even if we do, we won't own up to it and why would you attempt to communicate in it, even though that is the most communicative language to the 1st generation Chinese?  See what I mean...a barrier.  The other barrier is their work schedule...they are all workaholics.  They rarely leave their shops, even for kids programs at school.  School is the job of their children and working at their shop is their job.  A 14-16 hour day is not unheard of and to keep that up for 7 days a week is normal.  Big task.

We are looking at sending teams of people at least 4 times a year, possibly more...the opportunities are endless...literally.  We have a lot of good ideas and have learned a lot, but this is just the beginning...and it is a beginning.  Here's the thing...FBC Melbourne has NEVER done anything to this extent before.

Let this sink in...

We have adopted 300,000 people that don't know Jesus...let that sink in...300,000 people.  We aren't part of teams that go to Romania or Nicaragua or Haiti...not part of other churches that help.  In large part, as far as outside mission resource and support, we, as ONE CHURCH, are IT.  Only us.  That is a monumental responsibility and focus.  We have NEVER done that before.

We have plans...we will need YOU.  (don't look around, I'm talking about you...)

WE met an immediate outreach need by buying 2 ping pong tables to use in the activity outreaches to the Chinese students.  Pastor Ricardo, Rick Furtney and I went to buy the tables...Pastor Ricardo doesn't speak much English...me and Rick, almost no Spanish.  We took the time to "practice" on each other.  I learned a lot...I habla mucho es Spaniol than the Po Quito me habla earlier....okay that's it.  They were very appreciative, both Tomas and Ricardo.

While we were gone, the students from the school came over for an awards ceremony.  This was special because there were actually parents that came...this is unusual.  We made some good contacts and got some good info.  We spent some time with the administration of the school and made some plans for next January.

We left there to meet the Tim Louderback (IMB missionaries), Audrey Tucker (IMB to college students) and Tina (another missionary with the ISC).  They are mainly focused on Panamanian people, not Chinese, but it was a good lunch.

From there we went to the Crossroads Christian School to meet with Frank and Kelly Lee, who have some considerable experience with the Hakka and worked with John Mark, the previous missionary that did a lot of work here...his research has helped us a lot.  It was VERY informative, but also troubling, because while we uncovered some opportunities, we also had some difficulties reinforced...it's not impossible by any means, but it will not be easy...so it must be God.

We are all reeling from the week...so much information...so much need...so much we need and CAN and SHOULD do as a church.  It's all wonderful to "say" you adopted an unreached people group and to get a certificate, but now you actually have to take on the heavy burden for reaching them.  This will be a LARGE change for our church, philosophically and resourcewise, in my opinion...but, we signed on, we got the paper and they are our responsibility.

Recap for Thursday, Day 3, from Panama

Well...I'm just sitting down to blog, after a really good day.  Not a long one, but a good one.

Most of the rest of the team is checking out the rain forests, but I decided to stay behind and have some much needed, quiet and alone time...I'm a hermit by trade, so what can I say.  The Panamanian Rain Forests...or...time completely alone...yeah, I choose alone.  :)  Awesome team, nothing like that...I'm just a hermit at heart who needs him time of quiet to energize.

This morning, (after another Mavs win over the Lakers last night), we struck out early to share our testimonies with some 6th-8th graders.  I shared with the first group of 7th and 8th graders at 7:45...I broke out the tennis balls and juggled a bit to help tell my story (tried it once last year and then it had been a while).  It was "faith juggling", no practice just go and God was faithful...it worked.  Jenni Irvin and Darren Wolfe shared their stories (I enjoyed hearing them) and then Larry gave an invitation.

Jenny, Kevin and Larry shared with the 6th graders in another class and had to use an interpreter in Spanish.  About half way through Jenny Goodson's presentation, the principal came in and stopped the presentation.  Apparently, he recognized that some of the students only knew Chinese and knew neither Spanish nor English...at that point he asked Sharon Chaio on our team to translate for this group and the rest of the time, our team would speak, the teacher would translate in Spanish and then Sharon would translate in Mandarin for the other students.  That was interesting.

We went back to our apartment and then we talked for about 2-3 hours putting together all that we'd seen and heard.  We will have to plan at least 1 other trip this year besides the trip we have coming in June. 
Tomorrow...SPECIAL opportunity...it's nearly impossible to get to Chinese adults, they work 7 days a week and many for 12-14 hours, but tomorrow morning there is an awards ceremony at the Panama Christian School and many parents will come to see their child.  We'll get to share with them tomorrow about Christ...big moment.

After that we'll be meeting with some IMB missionaries that work with Panamanians and a couple who focuses on college students in Panama...hopefullly we'll also catch up with a church planter in the area who is looking to reach the Chinese as well...that will be about EVERYONE who is working specifically with the people in this region.  Part of our team will also be talking with someone who plans medical missions into the jungles of Panama.  They have yet to go to the Chinese, but we'll look for them as a long term contact for our trips.  Some of those will be gone next year...it's a good time for us to be here and to take up the work.

We had a good dinner last night with the Joberts (the IMB missionaries being reassigned to Costa Rica) and with Tomis (and his wife, Melissa) and Cliede Cooper, a great resource person for us here in Panama.

This endeavor will be unlike any other partnership that FBC has taken on with Romania or Nicaruagua or Haiti...this is a new level of commitment for our church.  Not only will we need more people to come to Panama, but we will need people to lead and coordinate the effort, because this effort alone will be massive.  We have a lot of ideas of how we can help short-term, mid-term and long-term. Of course, we'll be dialoguing continuously with the contacts that we've made here to see what we can do and what will fit in with, undergird and multiply their efforts currently. We'll be sharing a lot of our findings when we get back, but here's my challenge to you (yes you, not him...not her either, you):
1) Get your passport
2) Shots for Panama (TDap, Hep A, Hep B, Typhoid, etc...) - look on the Brevard Department of Health website...
3)  Start saving to come.

Here's the Radical Experiment right here...you gonna do it or not?

Wednesday recap - Day 2

Well, we started early.  Most of the team took an early trek to the top of a hill where you can see the whole city, but not yours truly...I slept in.  Felt a little like a slack, but I got to fire off the blog, spend some extra time in prayer and QT and still be comfotably ready and waiting when Steven, Lao and Tomis got here to pick us up.


Interesting personal note:  When I was a child in rural Alabama, a missionary from Paraguay named Ken Watkins came to my church...I was 3.  He took a liking to me and I latched onto him and called him "My Missionary".  Ma has a picture to this day of Ken and I.  I never kept up with him after that much (had Ma write a letter, I think).  Steven mentioned being in Panama and I casually mentioned Ken and Steven knew him and his family had stayed in his house.  He said Ken pioneered much of the mission work today in Paraguay and shared a story about how one time Ken was preaching and men rode up on horse back, horse whipped Ken and broke all his equipment...but he stayed.  "My Missionary" is the bomb...  Steven also knew a friend of mine that went to school with him and his wife at the University of North Alabama and again at Mid-American Seminary in Memphis...small world.


We went to Iglesia Bautista El Dorado today and met with Tomis and Lao and a few others who work with the Panamanian Chinese students out of El Dorado (I remember some of their names, but not all...Claudia, Mauricio, and a few others). 


From there we went to Panama Christian School, which was a very short walk across a parking lot from El Dorado.  There we met Willy, a chaplain at the school and Eduardo, a school official...they are working hard using the school as a very efficient tool to share Jesus to Chinese students.  It's a private school and it's been here for 10 years (adding a grade each year -- they have retained 10 students from the original 1st grade class of 27).  The school has garnered such a great reputation so far, that all types of Chinese want to come to their school...some travel 2 hours one way.  They pay tuition to come and 75-80% of the students ARE NOT Christian.  The school requires them all to take mandatory Bible class and they all have to memorize Scripture for a grade...parents get to hear them practicing...pretty cool, huh?  The school has a serious mission and have a great vision to reach parents.
Larry, Jeff and Sharon got to speak to an assembly of 9th-10th graders...good times.  They speak English, Spanish and Chinese.  The school administrator believes that Central America will be the sending ground for the next major force that will TRULY reach the whole world.  The main 3 languages here are English, Spanish and Chinese and those will carry you throughout most of the world.  They don't have the stigma that Americans do across the world...so we'll see.


We went to eat at a hole in the wall Chinese restaurant and it was great and we talked a LONG time how we could get plugged in to ministry here in with them.  LOTS of ideas, lots of brainstorming and some concrete short-term projects, long-term projects that are possibilities...now we have to put them in gear...GET READY.


We prayer walked (but honestly, mostly continued brainstorming with Tomis, Lao, Claudia, Mauricio and others) about how we could help them or be a resource or whatever.


Good productive day...we leave in 20 minutes to meet the Joberts, Cliede Cooper (a local church planter and HEAVY resource for us), Tomis, Lao and others for supper (or whatever they call it down here).  Thanks for praying...don't quit.


*** We need to have at least one more trip this year...we have a college aged trip coming in July, but we need to probably look at another trip in later in the early Fall...FULFILL YOUR RADICAL COMMITMENT HERE.  Get ready.

Quick one from Panama - Tuesday's recap

Wow...fast first day.  We met with our missionary, Steven and his family and learned a little about the Panamanian culture.  We went to the Canal and saw that big thing and Larry and Jeff got to share Christ with a guy who worked there.

Today, we meet with the church at El Dorado ("Gayly bedite, a gallant knight, in sunshine and shadow"....Google it) and we'll look at what we're doing for the next couple of days.  We've got many possible leads on people that we can hook up with to support and send teams to, and today, we'll be meeting many of these folks and hoping that the "possible" turns to "positive".  We also are meeting at a Chinese-Panamanian school (high schoolers, I think...found that out on the bus ride down and a little more detail yesterday...we're scrambling to come up with stuff to do a bit, because they have us scheduled to meet with them for a program for like 2 hours...we're trying to adjust that, especially since this trip was more exploratory, i.e. we didn't know to plan a 2 hour program for high schoolers, yikes!...but God is in control).

There is some church planting going on, but I'm also seeing do to restructuring, the IMB is pulling out a lot of teams that work with the Panamanian culture here over the next two years, so it's a good time for us to be getting here, before they leave (that's Panamanian people, not working with our people group, the Chinese here)...so the missionary effort in this area will be decreasing all over...sad, but God...still in control..

Talk to you more tomorrow...got to go.

P.S.  Also heard the Mavs beat the Lakers on Monday...Go Mavs!  ;)