Changes coming to KIDzone

Each week, Katye or I or both ask our kids what they learned each Sunday and I"m blessed to hear the Scriptural principles and lessons that they are learning in KIDzone each week.  Still, I know that we don't develop for the moment, we develop with the future in mind.  Over the last month or so, I've asked Raul to pray and think about our overall strategy in KIDzone, in light of preparing our kids to eject seamlessly into our church worship when they graduate from KIDzone one day.  

In thinking and praying through that directive and having some valuable conversations with some of the KZ leadership, Raul came to me with some changes to propose for our KIDzone that not only continues to address the needs of our children, but also, begins to prepare them from the beginning for what they will experience when they leave KIDzone and begin to worship in our main worship center.

Currently, we basically have a children's church at 3 groups:  Nursery/Toddlers, Pre-K (3 years- Kindergarten) and Elementary (Grades 1-6).  In each area, we take that group and work with curriculum and activities that are age appropriate for that group.  I believe that while I try to put the "peanut butter on the lowest shelf so everyone can reach it", so to speak, as a communicator, a 35 minute lecture style setting doesn't do the greatest job with our younger believers of getting across the tenants of Scripture.  In our day and time, there are loads of materials and curriculum that created by Christians who have devoted their lives to teaching children about Jesus in ways that get the maximum impact in their lives.  I totally believe in that.  I grew up sitting in church services with large words and illustrations that I really didn't understand, geared to the majority of the room...adults.  As a result, I remember to this day the look, feel and lesson of the only time I ever attended children's church at my great aunt's church at Ozark Baptist and learning in a setting and way that I understood...and that's been 30+ years ago.  Still, when our kids leave KIDzone, they are put into our worship service at 7th grade and then it's a whole new ballgame...how do we make that transition more seamless?  Well, there are two subtle changes that Raul is leading us toward.

1)  Our Nursery will begin to add two elements, loosely structured.  Music and the Word.  In the past, we've focused on showing the love of Christ to our little ones, helping them to understand that church is a loving place and to represent God as a loving caring parent.  We'll still focus on that, but we'll be looking to add reading to our kids from interesting story books of God's bible stories and playing music that has a message of Christ throughout the hour...maybe even challenging our workers to sing a song with the kids.

2)  In our Elementary KIDzone, we'll begin this Sunday, September 29, 2013 to go a little bit "old school" and bring this age group into the service with us during the first portion of our adult service.  At a point in the adult worship service, the leadership will clearly and seamlessly direct parents to let their kids leave with their KZ leaders en masse and we'll continue in our service as normal.  This change allows our kids to witness/participate in things like singing to God together, video testimonies, and other elements of our services that works great for them, getting a taste of our worship service.  It also allows those of our Elementary aged kids who have accepted Christ to participate in The Lord's Supper (or Communion) when we take that together as a body.  It will be up to the parents to educate and guide their kids through these times, which further helps the family bond.  At the same time, they will eject from the service to get the benefits of directed teaching, in a format that they can understand and benefit from the most.  

Will that be a little more crazy that we are used to?  Yep, some kids will have to adjust (probably mine - ;) ) and it will take time for them to learn their surroundings to be a part.  Sometimes, they will be impatient and they will be fidgety and will probably do things that adults would NEVER do...that's cool.  We are TEACHING them as much as participating with them and part of teaching is learning to have grace through innocent mistakes, as well as willful ones.

How can you help?

1)  You participate in the service and put your attention on God.  Be sensitive of the time of the service and what's going on and model engaging in what we are doing.

2)  Don't be a distraction to the kids...they'll have plenty.  Resist the urge when that cute 1st grader wants to peak over their shoulder at you to start the "pee-pie" game or something that seems innocuous...you know when to quit, many of them haven't learned that yet and their parents are trying to get them to participate...so don't be a sour guy that's gives them the "scowl", but just redirect them subtly, while leaving it to their parent to do the "heavy lifting"..it takes a village to raise and child and that's true in church as well.

3)  If you see someone NEW that looks lost, step out and help graciously.  We went to another church years back that did this and all of a sudden the kids started leaving the service and we didn't see it...a kind lady behind us tapped us on the shoulder with a smile and said "Hey would you like for your children to go to children's church?", then another lady offered to walk my kids to the workers with her kids...I'm not sure if we were having a meltdown and they were really trying to get us moving OR if they were just being welcoming (lol), but it didn't matter, they were loving people and that's how we accepted and appreciate it.

4)  Be patient, kind and loving, not disapproving and elitist.  Just because a kid is having a bad morning, it doesn't help to give the parents "the stare".  I'm telling you, as a parent, we are well aware when our kids aren't behaving and our brains are working overtime to try to solve the situation somewhere between "bringing the hammer" and making it worse AND ignoring it and letting it grow...we know and the "stare" that tells us we are failing and you'd do it better, doesn't help at all.

Right now, there will be no changes to our Pre-K area, they are just fine.  They already have elements of our worship service introduced to them in ways they can get right now.  Overall, we feel that this represents a gradual, yet purposeful approach to developing our children to be a part of the body as adults, not just an age group, while STILL maximizing their experience and teaching, preparing them for a seamless transition into our services.

As a pastor, I'm very grateful to Raul for his work and passion in this area and the time he's been putting in to make things run smoothly, especially through the transition into his new role and into the new location at the same time...we really threw him into the fire.  Good job, man!

All our leaders (Randy and Nathan) really put their hearts into what they do and are doing a great job as well.  Please continue to pray for and support your leaders.  

Bay West Church is MOVING...to another church? What?????

Here's a pretty good sample conversation in my life these days.

Person:  What's going on at Bay West Church?
Me:  Well, we're about to start meeting in a new place in August for worship on Sundays.
Person:  That's awesome!  Where is it?

Me:  Up on the West end of Emerson in Palm Bay (100 Emerson Drive, 32907)...you know The Mission Church, there?  That's where we'll be.

Person:  What?  Where is The Mission Church going?

lol.  I figured it might be fun to share the explanation in one place...so here's what I say next.

The Mission Church isn't going anywhere.  They'll be there and so will we, AND so will the Hispanic church that meets in the building as well.  Since the 80s, when the Ostranders built the church, they have always had other churches meeting in their space.  They see this as part of their ministry to Palm Bay to help other churches get off the ground.  "This is God's building, not ours...nothing is off limits to you here...we want you guys to feel as if this is Bay West Church's home while you are here."  That's the type of things we heard in our meetings with Pastor Mark, Pastor Jesse and Pastor John.  They have a real kingdom mindset, because more healthy churches reaching people in Palm Bay is better for all...no church competition here.

Here's a good picture of their attitude...their offer.  We'll move our services from 10:15 to 9am, so you guys can have a service on Sunday mornings in our worship center.  You guys have all these cabinets and stuff...hey, we've got places you can store the stuff...don't spend money on storage, we want you to put as much as you can into ministry.  We'll find places for you to store it here.  If you've been in The Mission, you know it's not gigantic...that's generosity.  You see the real test of someone's kingdom mindedness when it actually puts them out...when they have to sacrifice their capabilities to help God work through you.  We should all take a lesson from them.

So at 8:00am on August 11th, they'll have their Sunday School, then at 9:00am their have their service and finish between 10:15 and 10:30...then we'll start our service at 11am.  And we'll all have church.

Is Bay West Church going to merge with The Mission Church?  
Nope...we are still a campus of FBC Melbourne, still a Southern Baptist Church.  Meeting in the same building with two other churches...  Although, Pastor Mark is trying to talk me into going to Haiti on a mission trip with him...I'll have to hook him up with our local Haiti "missionary" Bob Osterholm (lol).

That's how it works...it may sound different, maybe a little weird, but it's a God thing...just go with it.
 

REMEMBER...Football is in the Fall, right?  Then remember 11 on 11...11am on the 11th of August is when Bay West will be in their new location.

***See how I resisted the normal tangent about how a church isn't a building...it's people.  When you think about it that way...it's a lot easier.

A thought about following God's will

Katye is reading this great book called Sifted by Wayne Cordeiro, founding pastor of New Hope Christian Fellowship in Honolulu, Hawaii.  It's about preparing church planters and church leaders to face the struggles of leading a church, especially in that type of situation.  We heard him speak at the Exponential 2013 conference in Orlando that we attended recently together (first time in YEARS to go to a conference together).  She read me this section the other day (good to have a wife that reads!) and it was really good.

It was about following God's direction in your life when you are presented with options.  The basic gist was that if he is presented with a direction and he doesn't receive a clear "no" in seeking God for the direction, he proceeds ahead, trusting God to shut the door.  The truth, he said, is either it's the right thing, God will shut the door or at worst, you made a mistake and God will make you wiser in the end from it.  He's always going to take care of us.

That's backwards from the way we do things, we don't move ahead without the clear "YES!" sometimes, but that's not always how it is following God...one thing is sure, sometimes the process is meant to be the tool by which He communicates direction, not a pre-arranged contract that you sign before you ever start that spells out everything.  Honestly, He might be just needing you to "move over" a little toward the direction to put you in position for the next thing that He wants you to do.

I plan on reading the book, and from all the things Katye has shared, I recommend it, especially for church leaders.

Let it Burn...or not

Ever look at a campfire after the flame has died down?  You’re sitting there late at night and there’s a little glow emanating off the coals of the fire.  You think the fire’s out… until you chunk a little piece of paper next to one of the embers… then the flame appears again. 

Conflict can be like that also, it can burn like a fire.  If we are smart, we go to the person who hurt us and we work it out…usually, forgiveness comes into play, and it’s extinguished….if we are lucky.  Sometimes, we let it smolder, like an ember, and it waits to flame again later.

When Jesus was asked by one of His disciples about how many times to forgive someone, the disciple suggested 7 times.  Jesus countered with 70 times 7.  We tend to think that someone might have to commit an offense against us 490 times and then we forgive them 490 times…but I think we miss something. 

Forgiveness is more of a process than a one-time event… we don’t just forget what happened.  I think Jesus was saying that you might have to use 490 “forgives” on one occurrence of the wrong.  Anything can remind me of pain…a TV program, a song, a conversation, etc…  To forgive means, every time something reminds me of the hurt, I have to make the choice to forgive the person, every time…maybe 1000 times, just for that one thing.

If forgiveness doesn’t stick, pain can come back at any time, like that glowing ember.  Most times, if the flame isn’t there, i.e. the conflict’s died down, we think everything’s okay because the fire is gone, but not hardly.  Let some little piece of “paper”, a word or a look, get too near the glowing ember and you find out the flame burns strong…just like that. We think the “paper” is the problem, but it’s really not.  If the “paper” just lies there, it never burns on its own.  It needs the ignored ember to light it again.  The hotter the fire/hurt, usually the longer the process of forgiveness… but it’s got to be done because usually the person that takes the most damage is the one nearest the fire, and that’s not the person who messed me over…that’s me or those close to me.

For a bowl of soup...

²⁹ One day when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau arrived home from the wilderness exhausted and hungry. ³⁰ Esau said to Jacob, “I’m starved! Give me some of that red stew!” (This is how Esau got his other name, Edom, which means “red.”)

³¹ “All right,” Jacob replied, “but trade me your rights as the firstborn son.”

³² “Look, I’m dying of starvation!” said Esau. “What good is my birthright to me now?”

³³ But Jacob said, “First you must swear that your birthright is mine.” So Esau swore an oath, thereby selling all his rights as the firstborn to his brother, Jacob.

³⁴ Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and lentil stew. Esau ate the meal, then got up and left. He showed contempt for his rights as the firstborn.
Genesis 25:29-34 (NLT)

You might read this and think...that's flat stupid.  The rights as the firstborn are pretty substantial, especially when your Dad is rich.  Isaac, his Dad, was so blessed of God that the Philistines were jealous of him.   As the firstborn son, Esau received twice the inheritance of the other sons, pretty much...and he gave this up because he was hungry, for a bowl of soup.  I sincerely doubt that the guy was about to die, especially when you think back to the 80s and people on hunger strikes living for a month or 2 without food.  Ghandi, at age 74, made it 21 days.  So yeah, I doubt he was that hungry and yes...that's stupid.

Before you start throwing tomatoes and making "selling your birthright for soup" jokes, you might want to realize that you and I do this every day.  How?

As Christ followers we sell our birthright as an adopted son of God all the time, in a sense, by sacrificing what our God has given us to meet a stupid need that wasn't really a need anyway...

...we throw away our witness because someone made us mad.

...we throw away our marriages because of a moment...

...we throw away our finances because we felt we needed more...

...we sin carelessly just because...

...we turn our backs on GREATNESS for God, because we are so afraid of being hungry for a minute...

Wow...don't give up on God today.  The way we approach Him sometimes, it's almost as we are hoping He'll fail or quit or change His mind or get bored and go bother someone else with His grandiose ideas and plans...and when He does, we throw out comments like "well, I guess God wasn't in that."  Well, He was, but, after a while, He took His plans to those that would follow Him, so you are right, NOW, He's not...

...but hey, you got a bowl of soup in your hand, meeting the tiny need of the moment, and it only cost you an unseen fortune.

¹⁷ 17 This is what the Lord says— your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:
“I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is good for you and leads you along the paths you should follow.
¹⁸ 18  Oh, that you had listened to my commands!  Then you would have had peace flowing like a gentle river  and righteousness rolling over you like waves in the sea.
¹⁹ 19  Your descendants would have been like the sands along the seashore—
    too many to count!  There would have been no need for your destruction,  or for cutting off your family name.”
Isaiah 48:17-19 (NLT)

How to know if your should listen to that influence...

Ever wondered if you should actually be listening to a particular influence (writer, TV show, blog, etc...)?  Was faced with this today and God called this to mind from James 3...


But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.
James 3:17

Is it...
...pure or tainted?
...ultimately peace-loving or divisive?
...considerate to others or rude to them?  (not does it tell others they are wrong, that's not being rude, and sometimes it's the most considerate thing to do)
...submissive to authority (God) or demanding for itself?
...merciful or unforgiving?
...impartial or one-sided?
...sincere or manipulative?
What fruit seems to spring from it?  (solution or separation, unity or useless conflict, insults or insight).

If it doesn't pass the test, then you can probably get along without it.  Also, any wisdom that you feel led to give to others should follow that rule, too.

A realization

Today, I had a realization of how blessed I've been in my Christian life.  When I was in college, I was a part of the Baptist Student Union as a freshman, but as it happens so much, my sophomore year I chose to head out and try some new things and I joined a popular fraternity on campus (we were #1...seriously, it was great!). While my plan was to kind of do my own thing, sort of flexing my rebellion a bit (well, it wasn't a conscious plan, I was just doing it), God had other plans and he took that opportunity to introduce me to being discipled.

Two guys, Chris Sanders and Sam Bowdoin, joined the fraternity in my pledge class, but they didn't join because my fraternity was so awesome, but because, get this...there weren't any Christians in it. It wasn't what you think...they didn't hate Christians, they were Christians and were taking the whole "missional" thing WAY too serious, about 20 years before missional was a mainstream Christian term. I guess I was doing a great job of not following Christ, because I guess Sam took my lifestyle, with some periodic conviction, because Christ was still trying to coach me through my stupidity, as a sign that I was "lost but questioning"...yeah, that's what I looked like. When I was ready, Sam invited me to come to his room and learn about Christ through that CO discipling tool the Blue Book. Anyway, God used that to right my ship and ended up with me going to Summer Beach Project, where I was discipled by a guy at my school for the summer named Patrick Sharp, who ended up discipling me when I got back to college. I sort of put discipling people on the backburner until I got to Seminary, where I poured my life into a lot of youth and college guys, mainly in a band or those dabbling in worship leading, then I met my wife, Katye.

Katye had had a lot of people pour into her life, from some great SS teachers (who are still discipling ladies today) and then being introduced by her sister to Jerry and Marilyn Fine, who have been voracious disciplers of men and women one on one for the last 40 years or longer (that's another history lesson from there). Jerry and Marilyn had discipled as regular church members for years, and after a while, their job was just getting in the way of their purpose, so they sold their business in the 80s and started just travelling around the world staying places with people for months at a time, discipling people to disciple others. Katye's sister was also greatly affected, a discipling great-great grandmother a few times over herself (Daphne married the Fines' son, Don, who's an awesome Christian minister as well).

Katye introduced me to the Fines and their discipleship system of "One on One with God" (http://www.1on1withgod.org/) I so loved the whole point, being to get you and God and the Word together...that's it, no devo material, you and God and the Bible...all you need to get wisdom from God.

Katye and I have always discipled people, informally and formally, pouring our lives into people everywhere we've been. My greatest thrill in ministry really isn't someone just accepting Christ and praying the prayer...for me, and I don't think I've ever shared this before, it's actually kind of a let-down in some way for me. Growing up with all the mass invitations of "close your eyes and raise your hand" and "easy-believism" of my youth, I've seen SOOOOOOO many people pray the prayer and then walk away from Christ...speaking at youth camps or as an evangelist, you go to the same camps or churches and the same kids keep walking forward at times. I'm kind of ashamed to admit that, but the thing that I began to understand that saved me from ridiculing myself, is that what really gets me going is seeing someone not only accept Christ, but then begin to live in the Word, to be around them as they share the first things they heard from God alone while they read...when they first prayed for something and saw God come through...when they started changing patterns/goals/rhythms of their lives, because what they were doing just wasn't consistent with God's Word/way. Those are the moments I live for... And today, I just realized why...that's what I was always made to live for, because Jesus never commanded me to make converts to get folks to pray the prayer. I think I finally realized that I don't have to feel guilty about that because what I get pumped about is someone becoming a disciple, a follower, not a member or an associate or an attender, but a disciple...all those things matter, but when I meet with someone and they go "yeah, I read John and here's what I just kept hearing all through that book: _______ "...and you know they aren't bs'ing you, because they are citing place after place, because you can't just fast talk your way out of that....then they say "I started to handle ______ this way, because Jesus said so." That's awesome.

Anyway, this week, at Exponential, I hit that realization, which was freeing and guilt-relieving, but on the other side, Exponential was both humbling and scary. The theme of the conference was "DiscipleShift" and it was all about changing the scorecard of our lives and churches by how we raise up disciples, not how big our offerings are or our attendance is, because disciples are the goal, the others are just things we sometimes pass on the way. As speaker after speaker laid out basically what I've been exposed to most of my Christian life, I had to "thank God" for all the blessing of the people who lived the mission and tried to get me to actually get that me being a disciple wasn't enough for Jesus in my life...I had to be about advancing others past just being a convert on an assocational report, but to actually walking with Jesus and teaching others to do the same. Any other finish line is a fake one that pulls up short, for me. It was humbling to think back past Sam to people like Chip Seagle, a high school football coach who took me and Craig Long to a conference in Montgomery, AL to learn about Christ and other things like that...people like Terry Hawkins, Woody Wood (who tried to teach me the Greek language as a 12 year old -- seriously), Bobby Long, Leslie Thompson and so many more that tried to challenge me in the faith...I'm so blessed, and I haven't done enough to justify the investment that God has exposed me to as a believer, it's really sad on my part and I'm kind of ashamed, even though I've been doing this, I haven't done enough.

At the same time, Exponential was scary....as I listened to those speakers basically say things I've been hearing since college as a way of life, I heard the crowds go "ooh" and "ahh" like they'd never thought of that before. I'm not trying to be backhandedly arrogant, because I'm a product of a system, not a prodigy or anything, but it's scary to think that people are on the edge of going to another state or city to plant churches and they are just now seem to be having their eyes opened to just pouring into the guy next to you...I'm glad the speakers spoke and I'm excited for the theme of the conference, because I was encouraged...it was like God was saying, "Yeah, that's what I want, keep doing that and do it harder...invest there.", but I'm also glad they talked because there were a lot of people who needed to be introduced to this, to change the scorecard, the way we measure success...not by simply attracting people who like to go to Bible studies, dinners and a weekend show, but by how are we actually doing on the last command of Christ before He left..."making disciples" and teaching them how to actually live following Christ.