Scripture references from "True Woman", 2nd part of our YOU series...

From Katye and my talk about Biblical womanhood last weekend in our YOU series, here are the Scripture references we used.

Main passage:

10 Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?

   She is more precious than rubies.

11 Her husband can trust her,

   and she will greatly enrich his life.

12 She brings him good, not harm,

   all the days of her life.

13 She finds wool and flax

   and busily spins it.

14 She is like a merchant’s ship,

   bringing her food from afar.

15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household

   and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.

16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it;

   with her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 She is energetic and strong,

   a hard worker.

18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable;

   her lamp burns late into the night.

19 Her hands are busy spinning thread,

   her fingers twisting fiber.

20 She extends a helping hand to the poor

   and opens her arms to the needy.

21 She has no fear of winter for her household,

   for everyone has warm clothes.

22 She makes her own bedspreads.

   She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.

23 Her husband is well known at the city gates,

   where he sits with the other civic leaders.

24 She makes belted linen garments

   and sashes to sell to the merchants.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity,

   and she laughs without fear of the future.

26 When she speaks, her words are wise,

   and she gives instructions with kindness.

27 She carefully watches everything in her household

   and suffers nothing from laziness.

28 Her children stand and bless her.

   Her husband praises her:

29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,

   but you surpass them all!”

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;

   but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.

31 Reward her for all she has done.

   Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

Proverbs 31:10-31 (NLT)

About the “responder” characteristic of women

14 But then I will win her back once again.

   I will lead her into the desert

   and speak tenderly to her there.

15 I will return her vineyards to her

   and transform the Valley of Trouble[b] into a gateway of hope.

She will give herself to me there,

   as she did long ago when she was young,

   when I freed her from her captivity in Egypt.”  

Hosea 2:14-15 (NLT)

About our responsibility as men to give God-honoring things to respond to.

As far as not being careless and flippant with what we say...

36 I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,Matthew 12:36 (ESV)

What our goal for our conversations to be...

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Colossians 4:6 (NIV)

It’s not just the words, but where the heart is that they come from…

14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart

   be acceptable in your sight,

   O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

Psalm 19:14 (ESV)

We should also respond appropriately for each situation...not just what you say, how you say it, but when you say it...does it fit the situation?

29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.Ephesians 4:29 (ESV)

About the beauty characteristic of women

3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.1 Peter 3:3-4 (NLT)

All women are beautiful and the greatest beauty is a heart for the Lord.

As men, do we value that actively in the way we deal with all women (mothers, sisters, nieces, co-workers, friends, etc…)

On what God values…

7 But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.”1 Samuel 16:7 (ESV)

30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.Proverbs 31:30 (ESV)

On the proper place for the physical vs the spiritual

8 for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.

1 Timothy 4:8 (ESV)

On the role of influencer that a woman has…

26 When she speaks, her words are wise,

   and she gives instructions with kindness.

Proverbs 31:26 (NLT)

4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children,

Titus 2:4 (NLT)

Men should receive the influence, not resist it.

12 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid.Proverbs 12:1 (NIV)

20 Get all the advice and instruction you can, so you will be wise the rest of your life.

Proverbs 19:20 (NLT)

20 Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.

Proverbs 13:20 (NIV)

Because of their great influence, men should take care what women they allow to influence them.

33  Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."

1 Corinthians 15:33 (NIV)

26 The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Proverbs 12:26 (NIV)

Thoughts on Suffering from Life Action

I thought I'd share some thoughts from the Life Action teaching, mixed with some things that God added through thought and meditation on the subject of suffering.

Suffering is an avoided concept in Scripture.  It's not pretty.  No one wants to do it (certainly not me).  I really don't like that this is a part of Scripture, but it is and it is a part of being a Christian.

I think we think we can ignore it and it will got away, then life will be easier and everything will be fine, but that's not true.  Jesus said that if you are to follow Him, you'll have troubles, period...going to happen.  That signifies that "sin" is in the world...it's a given.  Things don't follow God, there are problems.

If you ignore it, it will do you know good, because you'll have troubles and life will be hard, but you still won't get the benefit of suffering.  1 Peter 2:20-21 says this

20 But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it?

 In other words, when you go against God or do something that is unwise that God has told you not to do or not told you to do and life is tough...that's not suffering...that is "conflict" and there is no good in you toughing out that.  That's foolish.  That's natural consequence of refusing to acknowledge and follow God.  If you don't follow Christ at all and your marriage is in a shambles, that's not suffering for Jesus.  That's trying to do something in a way and for a reason that it was never intended for, because marriage doesn't work without Christ in the center...because he's necessary for the reason it exists.  I've heard it said best that "Marriage doesn't exist to make us happy, but to make us holy."  Yep, not so we can have kids, grow old and die together and always have a date on New Year's Eve.

Also, it's not "chastisement"...you have participated in something so long that God is allowing extra consequences to come to you because He's trying to steer you away from damaging behavior, thoughts or directions that are hurting you and dishonoring Him...that's not "suffering" and it holds no benefit to keep doing the thing that causes the "chastisement".  Chastisement is meant to train us, but it's not punitive...we aren't "paying for our sins" in the global sense, THAT is more horrible and at a greater price than we can pay.  Jesus did that...He took the ultimate punishment, this is God trying to get us back on the right way by making the wrong way less attractive, but ultimately, we'll make that choice to keep enduring the harshness or turn from it and experience healing and peace.

Then Peter writes...

But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God.A)"> 

But suffering is different.  Suffering is when you do right for God and things aren't just rosy and wonderful and you trust God is right anyway...that's a good thing.  It's not just that God is proud of that, but also that it is beneficial for you.  1 Peter 1:7 says these type of trials worth "more than gold"...so basically, these type of sufferings are more valuable than any amount of money for you.  It's amazing that a lot of the time, we miss these trials for 15/hour or whatever the next promotion pays....or we actually PAY money not to have them.

It's like working out...working out is hard...it hurts and sometimes you get injured doing it and you need healing, but it's healthy for you.  You HAVE to carve time in your schedule for it, it's not just an easy thing always.  The same is true in our faith...suffering is God's workout for us.  It's difficult, it's a moment that our weaknesses are exposed, the places that we need help and we are to cry out to God, when we fail Him or when facing a struggle, that we need Him and to "lift our weight" to Him.  How?  By trusting that if we follow what He has said for our lives in His Word, that He will provide...

If you don't think suffering is for you as a Christian, then you might want to mark vs 21 out of your Bible.  It says this...

21 To thisB)"> you were called,C)"> 

Bad start...to "what", to this type of "suffering"...that's what Christ "called" you to do.  These are things like "pressure" or "tough schedules" or "struggles" with things that you don't want to believe or do or sickness or death or whatever...even against the desire to do the "easy" things that aren't of God.  These struggles change us.

I always love the excuse that "God made me this way, so He meant for me to be this way"...what a completely illogical argument in Scripture.  When we accept Christ, we are to become a "new creation", because what we were is in conflict with God...  I want to say "Who is this magical, mythical person who becomes a Christian and just does everything, thinks every way, follows every desire, that there were following before?  They don't exist"... and the ones that do AREN'T Christians, according to Scripture.

I think about a friend who met a very needy person at work one day...and as unattractive and hard (and honestly, repulsive) as this needy person's situation was, my friend saw this as God's call for him to change it.  He took her into his home and treated her as his child.  He clothed her, washed her, cleaned up after all the things that she couldn't do for herself because of her physical limitations...it changed him...no, God used it to change him.. 

When she died recently, he said afterwards to me "she was never a burden"...no way?  If I were to list the energy draining schedule,tasks and the sacrifices that he willingly made, when no one else would, not even her family would...you'd call him a liar, but he was "dead serious" and I believe him.  

Why?  

Because in embracing the hardship, God had strengthened him, given him purpose, taught him about loving people, added to him all along the way and made him into something that he was not...God upgraded him.  

I seriously doubt that he would call what he did "suffering", he'd laugh at me if I told him that, but it was, but he found it.  He's already considering the next person he should take in and how God has prepared him for that next experience through this one...when I would be taking a breath, he's raring to jump back into it, because he found the value of suffering.

We should all learn from his example with the sufferings we are to face in our lives...

Sufferings are also things like when God allows a hardship in our life as a test to see where we are, to give us hope in how we've grown while pointing out where we still need Him to function properly ("I need You."). 

Sometimes, these are attacks from Satan that God allows to reach us so that He can use the hardship to better us...and that absolutely must burn the enemy.  When we submit to these and see them as they are, it's like our opponent keeps shooting at his basket and the ball just curves in the air and goes to the other end of the court and goes in ours...that would be maddening for a basketball player if that ever happened.

Then the verse ends with this...

...because Christ suffered for you,D)"> leaving you an example,E)"> that you should follow in his steps.

So this is all because Christ suffered for you...He didn't ask you to do anything on the scale of what He had to do and He never will, but He made the biggest sacrifice first.

Peter points out that this was an EXAMPLE.  That's different.  An example is something that you are to look at to understand in a greater, more vivid way whatever you are given to do is supposed to be like.  It's a picture and suffering is a part of that.

It's an example and in that, we'll follow in His steps.  What we see from Jesus is just not a beaten man, but who at the pinnacle of His suffering, was strengthen and motivated through joy, while being on the cross (Hebrews 12:2)...  We'll never endure what He did, but He proved that joy is possible in the midst of suffering for Christ.

Suffering is necessary, but not wanted.  It's vital, but hated...but unless we embrace it and look at it purposefully, we will be the ones who are left without blessings that God intended for us.

Misquoted Scripture hurts

"God won't give you more than you can bear."  We've all heard this before and it sounds all spiritual, but it's not really...in the way that people usually use it in response to some physical, emotional or mental struggle.  I read a blog today that lamented this phrase because of a tough thing that the writer had gone through...they called it a "nice sentiment", it's not a sentiment...it's a misquoted Scripture and like all misunderstood/misquoted Scripture, it's dangerous if you act on it because you are acting on air.

The origin:  The idea seems to come from 1 Corinthians 10:13 "...And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear..."  (1 Cor 10:13) which means there's nothing that anyone ever faces in being tempted to sin that hasn't been seen before, and that every time you are tempted to sin, you have a choice not to...as a Christian.  It says nothing about physical, mental, or emotional struggle.  It means that when presented with a choice to do what God says or not do what God says, as a Christian, there's never a time where you can say "It was just out of my hands, I had no choice."  There is no urge, desire, or mitigating loophole that takes sin's choice out of your hands.  Every time you are tempted to do wrong, you can choose not to, as a follower of Christ.

The danger:  If someone thinks that God won't give them what they can't bear, then people think, when they blow it, that God is against them or God isn't really in control or God lied or something's wrong with them or junk like that.  The reality is that people have died following Christ...they obviously couldn't "handle" that physically.

The action:  Please stop saying that phrase, if it's your "go-to" when things get bad for someone...in fact, God will sometimes, give you more than you can bear, so that you will turn to Him and follow Him, rather than just rely on yourself unsuccessfully...read the Psalms..no, turn off the "Chill Jazz" and the Lava Lamp and read them...David is not in a "I'm cool, I've got this" mode a lot of the time.  He's in places where he absolutely CAN'T handle LIFE well.  He's in the "God if you don't show up, I"m done for" mode...but he demonstrates that he knows who he needs to come to for strength, help and sustenance when he finds himself in that situation...to God.

Sometimes, you can't handle stuff and that's fine, because God can and He really does have it under control...that's the point.  For someone who places God first, God will help you, God will be there for you, God can heal you, God can sustain you through it, God honors those who honor Him...all these things are true for those who place God as the first priority in their life...

A thought about following God's will

Katye is reading this great book called Sifted by Wayne Cordeiro, founding pastor of New Hope Christian Fellowship in Honolulu, Hawaii.  It's about preparing church planters and church leaders to face the struggles of leading a church, especially in that type of situation.  We heard him speak at the Exponential 2013 conference in Orlando that we attended recently together (first time in YEARS to go to a conference together).  She read me this section the other day (good to have a wife that reads!) and it was really good.

It was about following God's direction in your life when you are presented with options.  The basic gist was that if he is presented with a direction and he doesn't receive a clear "no" in seeking God for the direction, he proceeds ahead, trusting God to shut the door.  The truth, he said, is either it's the right thing, God will shut the door or at worst, you made a mistake and God will make you wiser in the end from it.  He's always going to take care of us.

That's backwards from the way we do things, we don't move ahead without the clear "YES!" sometimes, but that's not always how it is following God...one thing is sure, sometimes the process is meant to be the tool by which He communicates direction, not a pre-arranged contract that you sign before you ever start that spells out everything.  Honestly, He might be just needing you to "move over" a little toward the direction to put you in position for the next thing that He wants you to do.

I plan on reading the book, and from all the things Katye has shared, I recommend it, especially for church leaders.

How to know if your should listen to that influence...

Ever wondered if you should actually be listening to a particular influence (writer, TV show, blog, etc...)?  Was faced with this today and God called this to mind from James 3...


But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.
James 3:17

Is it...
...pure or tainted?
...ultimately peace-loving or divisive?
...considerate to others or rude to them?  (not does it tell others they are wrong, that's not being rude, and sometimes it's the most considerate thing to do)
...submissive to authority (God) or demanding for itself?
...merciful or unforgiving?
...impartial or one-sided?
...sincere or manipulative?
What fruit seems to spring from it?  (solution or separation, unity or useless conflict, insults or insight).

If it doesn't pass the test, then you can probably get along without it.  Also, any wisdom that you feel led to give to others should follow that rule, too.