Easter blog series: Takes 1 to Know 1, Dishing on Church Folk-Judgmental

Having been in church most of my life, I know a lot of "church" people.  I've been lucky though, because I've been able to have a wide array of experience in my life and part of that is knowing a lot of people who aren't "church" people.  It's amazing what people not in church think about church folk...most of it due to experience with a "church" folk who has somehow become representative for everyone.

From my experience, I thought I'd dish on some church folk and some common thoughts about them that ARE and AREN'T true.

Truth:  We can be really judgmental.  Why is that?

 Yep, guilty as charged, I've seen this one first hand...I've BEEN this one first hand.  What's funny about this one is that the Bible teaches us not to be judgmental but also to "judge" others in a sense.  Say what?????  Don't feel weird, there's some issues that confuse church people and non-church people alike.

We've all heard it "Judge not, lest you be judged." But what does that mean? 
It seems pretty straightforward, but as one of my Seminary teachers said one time...that's a great verse, but the verses that immediately follow that verse talk about how we are supposed to look at the fruit of someone's life and judge for ourselves where they really stand.  That's confusing  Some of them get the "judge not" and just keep their mouths shut, no matter the situation.  Others really get the verses after that and are real good at exposing others' inconsistencies, going too far and hurting people.  But honestly, either extreme is wrong and it's usually based on a wrong understanding of the word "judge".

The way I understand it, when the Bible says "judge not, lest you be judged", it's talking about making a judgment call on someone for good, in the eternal fashion, such as condemning someone or writing them off.  That's not our role at all...we don't decide someone's fate, declare them worthless or put them on the OUT list.  Romans 14:4 even says that "who are you to judge another man's servant?  To his own master he stands or falls..."  So, that's God's job to put the final stamp on someone's life.  This understanding gives us the measure for hope for anyone on this Earth and helps clarify our role here, which is to show God's love to people on this Earth as much as we can.

So how should be evaluate correctly?

Well, then what about the "fruit" stuff... that is meant for us to know whether we should know or not if someone is helping us to follow God or not.  It's not punitive, it's informative, for many reasons

For example, if I give you some advice or tell you to do something and you go "hey, that's not what the Bible says", either I'm wrong or you're wrong or there's a synthesis of the two things in conflict that we aren't both aware of yet...maybe our disagreement helps one of us or both of us find truth (that's part of the reason that the Bible says "as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another". In case you haven't thought about it, iron doesn't sharpen iron by not conflicting with them.)  Great!
 

Secondly, you may need to share this with me...not so you can scoreboard me or out of motivation to be "over" me or to "put me in my place", but so that I won't be wrong and dishonor Christ.  You don't beat me into submission or stop loving me or if I disagree with you, just write me off...wrong, wrong, wrong... you are to pray for me, love me and be my brother/sister through this time in my life as I learn or you learn or more likely, we both learn. NEVER is this meant to be used to look down on someone as inferior...ever.

The correct way to "judge" (as in evaluate) would be like looking at someone who is sick and saying "Hey man, you look green, are you okay?  Can I help you?"  It's concern...
Or, if someone's life is obviously not focused on honoring God by the way they choose to live their life according to God's Word, it gives me a clue as to how I should weight their advice or opinion.  An extreme example is someone who continues to lose most of their money in the stock market trying to advise me on how I should invest my money...yeeeaaah, right...I'll pass.

Unfortunately, some believers misconstrue that to mean that we need to put down or look down on others.  Some people misuse the things the Word says about evaluation to pump themselves up in their insecurities, such as, they feel that if they can measure themselves against someone else and be better they can feel better about themselves.  Sometimes, people can try to find their worth in seeming to being better than others instead of finding their self-worth in Christ...choosing to focus on others problems so they don't have to contend with their own, either in a move to avoid hard things in their life or an blind thinking they are being "selfless" by suffering in their problems while they help others.  That's not Biblical at all. 







Matthew 7:3 says ""Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?"  Galatians 6:2 tells us that we must "Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ."  So we have to help others with their problems.  If we wait for all our imperfections to be handled before we help a friend, we'll never help anyone.  So what is this verse trying to say?  What this verse is saying is don't use the problems of others to avoid dealing with your own issues...we are to confront issues in our own lives for the health of us and our friends.

Romans 14:3 says "Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don't think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us."  Christians can miss this and get off track, when in truth, we all measure ourselves against only one person...Christ.  None of us measure up to Him.

So, in final, here's the deal...I say this next thing a lot.  In Ephesians 4:15, Paul tells us that we should "speak the truth in love".  Sometimes the loving thing to do is to point out that someone is wrong, but even in speaking the truth, we can never sacrifice doing it in a loving manner.  Here's love for you...1 Corinthians 13 says love is this...check your love when you do this.
   Love never gives up.
   Love cares more for others than for self.
   Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.  (JC:  envy)
   Love doesn't strut,
   Doesn't have a swelled head,
   Doesn't force itself on others,
   Isn't always "me first,"
   Doesn't fly off the handle,
   Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
   Doesn't revel when others grovel,
   Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
   Puts up with anything,
   Trusts God always,
   Always looks for the best,
   Never looks back,
   But keeps going to the end.

Blog series: Takes 1-2-Know-1: Dishing on Church Folk-We're perfect (or think we are).

Having been in church most of my life, I know a lot of "church" people.  I've been lucky though, because I've been able to have a wide array of experience in my life and part of that is knowing a lot of people who aren't "church" people.  It's amazing what people not in church think about church folk...most of it due to experience with a "church" folk who has somehow become representative for everyone.

From my experience, I thought I'd dish on some church folk and some common thoughts about them that ARE and AREN'T true.

MYTH #1:  Church people have it all worked out perfect with perfect lives (or they act like they do, but secretly, they don't).  It's funny that this is a common theme among folks.  Honestly, I've seen evidence to back the parenthetical part of this statement on more than one occasion, but a greater understanding of this myth let's you know it's not true.  I'll show you why it's ironically comical that this is a rep for people in church.

One...I've never met anyone on the Earth, that,in their right mind, in a totally honest moment, that thinks they are perfect...in the church or out.  I'm not sure that person exists.  I've seen arrogant people before, but usually, in my experience, that's really just subconscious/conscious overcompensation for weaknesses that they are really trying to hide or have yet to admit.

Two, one of the most fundamental beliefs of Christianity is that in the same way, ALL of us are imperfect and have NO chance to achieve it on our own.  The very fact that anyone walks into church and/or enters into a relationship with Christ is admitting that you are NOT perfect...that you are flawed.

This sparks a couple of other questions:

Why do some of them "act" like they are perfect?

- The easy answer is because they aren't.  Acting like you are, like anyone on the planet, is proof that you aren't perfect, because no one is.

Another reason is ignorance.  Some people still haven't learned what it means to admit your imperfections.  It means that you are always 100% flawed, but you are always trying to connect with a perfect God.  While God is moving us toward being complete or perfect one day, that's not done the moment you decide to follow Christ...some folks don't know what to do with that.

Another reason is insecurity.  It's not easy to admit your weaknesses to others, even though that's what the Bible asks us to do.  Some people mistakenly think that acting more "disgusted" or "appalled" at the acts that sin comes out as in a person's life, somehow makes them seem to be more right with God.  All that does is cause people to be moreActually, insecurity is fueled by pride.  We all want to look like we know what's going on and, true to form with our condition, we aren't...it causes some problems.

Another reason is misguided expectations.  Some people actually believe that when they enter a relationship with Christ that somewhere, somehow, they'll achieve this (pardon the expression) "Zen-like state" where nothing bothers them, nothing ever goes wrong, they never do anything wrong or make a mistake again and the sin nature that's part of of every person on the planet just goes away.  Not true.  Following Jesus' path is a way to deal with the effects of sin and because of Jesus' leadership and strength, we can have the power, the understanding and the awareness to choose a choice that isn't controlled by sin in our life, but to think that we will never struggle again is foolish.  For me, as I've grown in Christ and learned more about Him, I've actually found MORE things that I need Christ for, rather than less, and that's exactly how it's supposed to go as we grow in Him.

Another reason is that there is an enemy who wants us to fail.  The Bible tells us the Devil is alive and well and is trying to get us to be stupid and hurt others...like we aren't capable of doing it on our own because of our own problems.  He helps confuse people into thinking that if you are a Christ follower, then you hate sin, then you have to be perfect and hate people who aren't and then if you aren't a Christ follower, then you can't be one because you sin...it's flawed logic, but it's amazing how many people buy into it.

Basically in a nutshell, here's a Christian...an imperfect person who is resigning himself/herself to the fact that they can't make it on their own, but realizes that there really is a solution to making it through life and they've found Him.  His name is Jesus.  Now, they are trying to learn to live in that situation. 

There's a great song by Natalie Grant that says this and it kind of sums up this topic.  "There's no such thing as perfect people, there's no such thing as a perfect life, so come as you are, broken and scarred, lift up your heart and be amazed...and be changed by a perfect God."  The truth is that you've got to learn to exhibit grace to others, just as you receive it yourselves and that's how God planned for it to be.

This week, I'm going to try to deal with a few more dish on church folks subjects...hope this helps non-church folk understand church folk or maybe even, church folk understand themselves a little better.

Bitterness is a trap

²³ For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin.” 
Acts 8:23 (NIV)


A note about bitterness:  Bitterness is a trap.  It ruins your perspective, it makes you focus only on yourself.  It creates a false reality, where you are stuck in this look that is driven by anger, yet fueled by justice...it's a self-righteous prison where you are free to do or think whatever, because you aren't the one really feeling this way...THEY did it to you and THEY made you do it.  Your loop is protected by the mirage of piety, because you are justified.

When you give into bitterness, it slowly yanks everything from you that is good...your self-respect, your happiness.  It then progresses to take your integrity (personally I'm allowed to be bitter even if you know people shouldn't), your perspective (everything you do is judged through the filter of your bitterness) and you lose the capacity to see past your own situation...and there's the danger.

No other reality exists besides yours...so everyone else must be synthesized into your "world"...
Anyone who isn't bitter like you is delusional or naive...
Anyone else who has been hurt, but is joyful, is a novice that doesn't know real pain, pain like yours...
Anyone not angry is spoiled and annoying...
Anyone that suggests you are hurting yourself...they are crazy.

In other words, "joy" is your enemy...you become captive to sin.  Oh yeah, it might let you crack a joke occasionally, to make you think everything is fine, but it isn't, and another thing...bitterness gets in your way with God, because no matter how you slice it, you have it because of your own sin.

It may not have been your fault, and you might be right and totally mistreated, but so was Jesus.  We tend to forget that reality as well in the midst of our injustice.  The purpose of the Bible is really two fold...to show you what God expects from you and what you can expect from God.  Jesus, our example, lived a life where he was damaged, defamed, and destroyed (physically) and never once did we ever see Christ fall victim to bitterness.  He's had more right to be bitter than anyone alive...no one has endured more injustice than Him, yet He continued to show us, by example, what He expects from us...but it's hard to get.

Jesus was never bitter...and if we are to have the mind that is from him, then neither should we be.  Don't fall into the trap.

Beyond the Vow...

This week we are starting a series at FBC Melbourne at our Bay West Campuses and Melbourne Campuses called "Beyond the Vow" and it's a crucial one.

As a pastor, I see a lot of marriages, both inside the church and outside of it, that are experiencing trouble and because we are human, it can get a little disheartening, even if the majority of the marriages around us are in good shape.  Even so, you have to think...why is that?  The disparity of marriages in the church in trouble or ending in divorce, really is not that different statistically from that in the world and why is that?

I believe that part of the reason is that we've legislated and written and analyzed and psycho-analyzed our marriages to death.  We've struggled through the definition of roles of the spouses and what's fair and what's not and what's too constricting and consequently, what's too freeing...and in all that verbiage, we've forgotten what marriages are for.

For the month of March, we'll be going through this series in our worship services, but we'll also be bringing in Dr. Daniel Akin, president of Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, who's done a lot of Biblical study on marriages, to help us take an intense look at our marriages on March 23-24 at our 2 to 1 Marriage conference.  Feel free to signup to come if you'd like here 2to1marriage.com .

Also, in the month of March, off the heels of our Hungry for God series, our church will be participating in a corporate fast***, seeking God intently to move in the marriages in our church that are under attack and for vision/direction for our church as a whole moving forward in how we serve God in the Melbourne/Palm Bay area...March is going to be a HUGE month.

In Beyond the Vow, we are going to take a good hard look at the reason anyone gets married in the first place, exactly what marriages are and AREN'T supposed to accomplish and how we can take that knowledge and "re-track" our marriages on a path that will really last "'til death do us part".

Don't miss it.

***Basically Pastor Scott, Senior Pastor at FBC Melbourne, has called our entire church to take some time and let go of something that we do this month, and use that time seeking God's presence in these areas.  Formally, we are asking members and regular attenders of FBC, both campuses, to consider fasting for a period of time in the month of March from food or some other form of physical gratificaion to seek God's presence in these two areas in our church.  For more info on fasting, you can click here for our page on fasting and some resources OR you can listen to our sermons on fasting here from our "Hungry for God" series.

Dove Bible Club Update!

Here's an email from Anthony and Loretta Dozier and the work they are doing for Christ in our Elementary Schools in Brevard.  If you remember we had them come and share with us what's going on in their ministry here a while back at Bay West.

It's truly amazing what has happened in the last few years in their ministry.  Please pray for them...if you are looking for a place to serve outside the church that is a valid, thriving ministry where God is in, this is one for sure.   February 26, they are dedicating their new offices...things grow huh?

Here's the update for Loretta & Anthony.

Dear Dove Bible Club Volunteers and Partners,

 

God is using you to make a difference in their lives of many, many children.  Thank you!

 

Testimony:  While at Riviera Elementary last Tuesday, here is what happened.  I was walking the the students to the front gate and a parent stopped me and asked, "Are you one of the Bible teachers?"  I said "Yes, I am".  She began to share these words:  "I just wanted to say thank you for what you and the other teachers are doing.  Every since the first meeting of Dove Bible Club, I have seen a transformation in my daughter.  She used to be afraid to pray out loud or share anything about the Lord.  Now, she prays aloud at home and shares her testimony at church.  It has been amazing how she has changed!  We were at a restaurant the other day and she grabbed her grandfather's hand and began praying.  She loves attending Dove Bible Club and she has really learned a lot. I just wanted to say thank you to all of the teachers."

 

February Lesson: 

• The Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37)
• Character Trait:  Love/Kindness
• Key Verse:  Luke 10:27

T-Shirt Orders

• T-Shirt orders are still being accepted; cost is $7.00
• New regulations dealing with the ink used in children's products put the order on hold

New School Openings for Dove Bible Club

• Harbor City Elementary
• University Park Elementary
• Central Middle School

New School Sponsorships

• Discovery Elementary was adopted by The Mission Church (God bless you Mission Church!)
• If you/ your church/your family/ your ministry are interested in adopting a school, please see me for details

Dove Bible Club Office Dedication

• Dove Bible Club office address:  1707 Canova St. (Unit 3) Palm Bay, Fl.
• February 26, 2012 @ 4:00pm
• Come celebrate with us.... Yahooo!!!!

Dove Bible Club Remaining Meetings for February

• Discovery  2-13-12
• Palm Bay  2-13-12
• Columbia  2-14-12
• Southwest  2-14-12
• Central  2-15-12
• Port Malabar   2-16-12
• Westside  2-17-12
• Jupiter  2-21-12
• Meadowlane (P)  2-22-12
• Lockmar  2-24-12
• Turner  2-27-12
• Meadowlane (I)  2-28-12

Dove Bible Club Needs for February

• Office furniture (office desk, computer desk; computer chairs, conference table, etc.)
• Office equipment (printer, computer, projector; filing cabinets, etc.)

If you have any questions or need anything, please call us at (321) 728-2251.

God bless you,

Anthony and Loretta

Someone gets it

So impressed with the words of the the recently former Victoria's Secret model, Kylie Bisutti...someone gets it.  Love this quote about why she quit a financial-rewarding and fame-giving career path...

“I just became so convicted of honoring the Lord..."


Here's her public statement posted on her Twitter page...
“For all of you that were looking for me in the Victorias Secret runway show this year, I wasn’t in it. I have decided not to model lingerie Because I personally feel that I am not honoring God or my husband by doing it. My marriage is very important & with divorce rates rising I want to do everything I can to protect my marriage and be respectful to my husband. God graciously gave me this marriage and this life and my desire is to live a Godly faithful life, I don’t however judge others for what they do. Everyone is convicted on different levels.”

If we could all just stop making up fake iron-clad excuses why are "forced" to dishonor God and we can't honor God, or the biggest lie, "I have no choice".  If Jesus is #1, then what is the awesome job, if it wins over Jesus?   She answered that question correctly this time...will you?

One more thing:  Let's not make her a saint and require perfection,though...one battle won...pray for more.

More gold in the article...I didn't spoil it too much.

ABC news article about Bisutti

God can use a lot of things in ways you don't realize

Got an email today from Dolly, (MC student ministry assistant/FBC Web Manager) and it was a prayer request that came in online through our online prayer request page on our website (here's the link)...  It was from Serbia.  We'll gladly be praying for them and for what God is doing, but it got me to thinking about the impact of just a small campus worldwide...just 100 people or so, could we make a difference?

The answer is yes, God can use anyone to make a difference if we are willing.  I'll share two brief things.

This last year, we sold the Bay West T-shirts and helped the village of Las Lajas get clean water for the first time ever.  The project has just recently finished...a project that should have taken 3 weeks, due to calamity and bad weather has taken over 3 months to complete.  Still, God used that time.  In having to spend the extra time with the people of Las Lajas, the workers were able to plug into the lives of the people of the village even deeper, spending more time with them.  In the process of doing that, 74 people came to know Christ and not just "say" they know him, but as our project manager said, to FOLLOW Him with their whole lives.  They will be planting a physical church, the first church, in Las Lajas and just through that, God has used us to transform a village.

Our Video Podcasts, since we started putting them up on Facebook 1.5 years ago, have been watched in over 56 countries.  People have allowed little Bay West into their lives through the Internet.  Here's a map...the blue are the countries that have watched our services online.

The lesson is this.  Obedience is what you do and the only success you will ever have to worry about.  After the "not a fan" movie last week, I imagine some of you may be re-evaluating your life situation and what reallly matters in a way that maybe you haven't before.  Sometimes, simple obedience doesn't seem to have the dramatic effect that we think should be present from the sacrifices in life, but we must remember, that true followers of Christ are focused on the following and trusting God for the results of obedience.  Consider this, as you look at your life and wonder how the results are working for you, think of this map and the shirts and wonder, "where is God using me in ways that I don't see?"  Just like an older chorus used to say "He works in ways we cannot see...", trust that.